BRINGING BASEBALL BACK TO MONTREAL IS A TERRIBLE IDEA
Hockey is Canada’s game, baseball is America’s. So why should I care about a painfully boring sport designed around nine innings of narcolepsy-inducing “athletics”?
HORRIBLE BOSSES
You are, let’s say, making copies. A superior—not just your boss, the boss of pretty much everyone you work with—comes over. He’s crazy-eyed and fuming, his Jos. A. Bank dress shirt is covered in flopsweat, his brow is furrowed like a constipated anime character’s.
WE’RE PLAYING BASKETBALL IN NORTH KOREA WITH DENNIS RODMAN
Earlier today former Chicago Bulls superstar Dennis Rodman presided over a mixed-match basketball game in Pyongyang alongside Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un.
(Source: Vice Magazine)
THE STATE REPRESENTATIVE WHO COMPARED MMA TO CHILD PORN
South Dakota is one of a handful of states that doesn’t regulate MMA. But unlike New York and Connecticut, both of which have banned the sport outright, South Dakota doesn’t have an athletic commission to oversee things, which means fights go on but MMA fighters and promotions are pretty much out there on their own, health- and safety-wise.
(Source: Vice Magazine)
WHY DOES ANYONE WATCH BASEBALL?
Harry Cheadle: Hey Ben, I think baseball is starting up again soon. I have no real way of knowing this for sure because I don’t watch the games or pay attention to the box scores, at least not anymore. As a kid, I loved the sport and watched Baseball Tonight on ESPN all the time to see the diving catches, homers, and bloopers, and in college I was in a fantasy league, so I had a reason to keep up with all that.
(Source: Vice Magazine)
YOUR SUPER BOWL QUESTIONS, ANSWERED
Something called the “Super Bowl” is happening this weekend. What a crazy name, right? Sounds like what Super Man smokes when he wants to get stoned!
(Source: Vice Magazine)
THE WOMAN WHO WRESTLED BEARS
Deanna Booher has lived enough for five lives and had just as many aliases. Queen Adrena, Juicy Joy,Matilda The Hun, and Queen Kong are just some of the names she’s gone under for her various guises. She’s been arrested and jailed, she’s wrestled a seven-foot grizzly bear, and she’s strutted around in an Aerosmith video with a dwarf on her shoulders.
THE 12-STEP PROGRAM FOR LANCE ARMSTRONG’S IMAGE
After 15 years of denial, obfuscation, and single-handedly creating the worst fashion trend of the 21st century, Lance Armstrong is finally ready to admit to the world—or Oprah, same difference—that he indulged in performance-enhancing drugs during his time as a professional bicycle-riding man.
BASEBALL IS DEAD AND SO IS CIVILITY
While Mitt Romney and Barack Obama squabble over whom is the most officious liar, the real war for America’s soul goes largely unnoticed. That fight is taking place between lines of chalk, on grass or artificial turf.
LET’S JUST TURN THE REFS INTO LASERS
We’re 1/16th of the way through the NFL season and the regular referees are still not back, locked out thanks to stalled labor negotiations, during which the league owners refused to negotiate.
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