WHY LAVAL SUCKS
There are good suburbs and shitty suburbs. And then there’s Laval.
I’M HUNTING DOWN THE FAT FETISHIST WHO HAS MY STOLEN LAPTOP
Matt remembered he’d installed some tracking software on his laptop and took matters into his own hands. What he found when he accessed his laptop was a face (captured by his webcam) that seemed to spend the majority of its time masturbating to a fat fetish porn website.
I WENT SNOOPING AROUND NICOLAS CAGE’S HOUSE
Prior to my arrival, I’d been picturing madness. Not, like, Hoarders level madness, but that kind of controlled, polished madness that the sort of person who buys dinosaur skulls surrounds themselves with.
THE CANADIAN COMPANY HELPING MOVIE STUDIOS SUE YOU FOR ILLEGAL DOWNLOADING HAS BEEN USING IMAGES WITHOUT PERMISSION
As you may already know, Voltage Pictures, the company responsible for the movie The Hurt Locker, (as well as a million movies you’ve never heard of) is currently in court, attempting to get an Ontario-based internet service provider to release the names associated with over 1000 IP addresses that they claim belong to people who illegally downloaded their copyrighted material.
THE WIZARD OF THE SADDLE RIDES AGAIN
In the middle of an unkempt park in Memphis, Tennessee, stands an oversize bronze statue of a Confederate lieutenant general astride his mount.
SOME RICH PEOPLE ARE BUILDING A GIANT CLOCK INSIDE A MOUNTAIN
Deep within a mountain somewhere in west Texas, The Long Now Foundation are hard at work building a 500-foot clock that’s been designed to run for 10,000 years. I know that sounds a bit like the folly of a Lone Star oil billionaire, but apparently this massive clock is going to adjust the manner in which we understand time itself, so I suppose that counts as having a purpose.
TWITTER THINKS ANGELINA JOLIE IS NOTHING WITHOUT BREASTS
Twenty-four hours on, Angelina Jolie’s decision to undergo a double mastectomy is still everywhere. Not only was it the first thing I got asked about when I got into work yesterday, but since then it has dominated my Twitter and Facebook feeds and generally just followed me around the internet like that pop-up guy who keeps wanting to share his camgirl secrets with me.
I SPENT THE WEEKEND WATCHING TOPLESS FEMINISTS PISS OFF NEO-NAZIS
Last Friday, I took the Eurostar from London to Paris to meet the topless feminist protest group Femen. Originally based in the Ukraine, the organization has since spread out across the world.
THESE RAPPERS HATE ECSTASY
When ecstasy became widely available three decades ago, it was largely consumed by suburban white kids wearing baggy cargo shorts who sucked pacifiers in abandoned warehouses, while listening to electronic music of some sort or other until they collapsed in exhaustion.
TAXI DRIVERS SEE SOME CRAZY SHIT
There has been a lot of heat coming down on cab drivers in Toronto lately. Some people are calling for stricter regulations on taxi drivers and saying that too many of them are reckless, dangerous and possible threats to society.
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