DID I DISCOVER YELAWOLF?
This. CD. It looked like… I really can’t even explain its levels of wrong. Imagine the worst possible images you have ever seen, but all in one spot: the worst possible fonts, the worst possible colors, the worst possible photoshopping, title, spelling, whatever—everything—the worst. It made me straight-up uncomfortable. I felt bad for even gazing upon it. Read More
WHY LAVAL SUCKS
There are good suburbs and shitty suburbs. And then there’s Laval. Read More
I'M HUNTING DOWN THE FAT FETISHIST WHO HAS MY...
Matt remembered he’d installed some tracking software on his laptop and took matters into his own hands. What he found when he accessed his laptop was a face (captured by his webcam) that seemed to spend the majority of its time masturbating to a fat fetish porn website. Read more
I WENT SNOOPING AROUND NICOLAS CAGE'S HOUSE
Prior to my arrival, I’d been picturing madness. Not, like, Hoarders level madness, but that kind of controlled, polished madness that the sort of person who buys dinosaur skulls surrounds themselves with. Read more
THE STRONGEST DWARF IN NEW JERSEY
My only childhood playmate was the dwarf who lived in the house next door to me. And that dwarf came to physically torment me. Read more
ROB FORD MIGHT BE A CRACK SMOKER
Robbie’s intoxicated reign over the Kingdom of Toronto. Read More
HOW AWFUL ARE THE FREE PORN GAMES ON THE INTERNET?
Most of the internet is devoted to games and porn… Read More
PIGEON RACING IS A DYING SPORT IN CANADA
Despite its rich history, pigeon racing is a dying sport in Canada, struggling to attract a new generation of competitors… Read More
ROB FORD GOT A BETTER PHOTOGRAPHER
It seems that Robbie has taken a bit of his high school football budget and applied it to a new camera and, ostensibly, a better photographer. Read More
THE BITCOIN CRASH BEGINS
After peaking at $266, bitcoin took a tumble on Wednesday afternoon. A big tumble. Read More
SYRIA'S REFUGEES ARE WEDGED BETWEEN HELLS
The numbers are almost beyond comprehension: more than 70,000 people killed, over four million displaced and more than one million refugees registered by the UNHCR. Read More
THE CANADIAN COMPANY HELPING MOVIE STUDIOS SUE YOU...
As you may already know, Voltage Pictures, the company responsible for the movie The Hurt Locker, (as well as a million movies you’ve never heard of) is currently in court, attempting to get an Ontario-based internet service provider to release the names associated with over 1000 IP addresses that they claim belong to people who illegally downloaded their copyrighted material. Read More
THE WIZARD OF THE SADDLE RIDES AGAIN
In the middle of an unkempt park in Memphis, Tennessee, stands an oversize bronze statue of a Confederate lieutenant general astride his mount. Read More
SOME RICH PEOPLE ARE BUILDING A GIANT CLOCK INSIDE...
Deep within a mountain somewhere in west Texas, The Long Now Foundation are hard at work building a 500-foot clock that’s been designed to run for 10,000 years. I know that sounds a bit like the folly of a Lone Star oil billionaire, but apparently this massive clock is going to adjust the manner in which we understand time itself, so I suppose that counts as having a purpose. Read More
TWITTER THINKS ANGELINA JOLIE IS NOTHING WITHOUT...
Twenty-four hours on, Angelina Jolie’s decision to undergo a double mastectomy is still everywhere. Not only was it the first thing I got asked about when I got into work yesterday, but since then it has dominated my Twitter and Facebook feeds and generally just followed me around the internet like that pop-up guy who keeps wanting to share his camgirl secrets with me. Read More
I SPENT THE WEEKEND WATCHING TOPLESS FEMINISTS...
Last Friday, I took the Eurostar from London to Paris to meet the topless feminist protest group Femen. Originally based in the Ukraine, the organization has since spread out across the world. Read More
THESE RAPPERS HATE ECSTASY
When ecstasy became widely available three decades ago, it was largely consumed by suburban white kids wearing baggy cargo shorts who sucked pacifiers in abandoned warehouses, while listening to electronic music of some sort or other until they collapsed in exhaustion. Read More
TAXI DRIVERS SEE SOME CRAZY SHIT
There has been a lot of heat coming down on cab drivers in Toronto lately. Some people are calling for stricter regulations on taxi drivers and saying that too many of them are reckless, dangerous and possible threats to society. Read More
WHY I LOVE MY MEDS
This past Monday I did a stand-up show, and one of the other comics said something along the lines of, “I have depression, but I recently stopped taking my medications.” The crowd applauded in support of her strength and resilience. Read More
WE’VE PROBABLY GOT ABOUT A YEAR BEFORE WEED PRICES...
On April 1st 2014, new federal legislation will strip current medical marijuana users of their right to grow, and/or have a designated grower. There are approximately 2,800 growers producing for the over 26,000 medical marijuana users in this country. Read More
WHY DOESN’T THE JUSTICE SYSTEM TAKE RAPE CASES...
About a year ago, I sat down to brunch across from one of the most badass women I’ve ever met. We’ll call her Sandra. Sandra’s not badass in the way many people would define the word. Read More
HOORAY! PORN SITES ARE PAYING TO REMOVE TATTOOS OF...
The media keeps telling me that, thanks to the new LA condom laws and the fact that the internet exists, the porn industry is flat broke. But if that’s true, how can they still afford to get their logos tattooed on to my friend Hostgator Dotcom’s body and face? Read More
THE AMERICANS ARE ARRESTING A LOT OF CHILDREN
Kids are dumb. We know this both from research that shows teenagers’ brains are suggestion-prone and vulnerable and from just watching how they act every day. “I’m going to eat a bunch of cinnamon because YouTube told me to, oh no, now I require medical attention because I’m an idiot!” Read More
FACEDOWN GENERATION TAO LIN'S IPHONE PHOTOS OF...
Over the next month, in celebration of the forthcoming release of Tao Lin’s latest novel, ‘Taipei,’ we will be featuring a weekly selection of photos taken by the author during his recent trip to Taipei, Taiwan. This week’s photos are based on people who seem unable to stop looking at their phones while in public. Read More
MEET THE TWO GENIUSES WHO LIVED ON CHEEZIES AND...
Chatting with a couple of guys who nearly killed themselves with junk food for no good reason whatsoever. Read More
PORN STAR KARAOKE IS A THING AND IT'S AWESOME
Every Tuesday night, performers, producers, crew, and regulars turn out for what has become an almost decade-long tradition in an industry where careers rarely span half that time. The karaoke night was born out of a lack of industry-centered events available to the public and soon became a staple for performers and fans alike. Read More
THE KENTUCKY DERBY... ON ACID!
We could barely catch a glimpse of the horses as they pounded past on the wet earth. She had this terrifyingly blank look on her face, and she said, “The ground was shaking underneath me… so this little courtyard here suddenly became the ocean, and I was floating in it.” Read More
JONATHAN HOBIN RECREATES THE WORLD'S MOST INFAMOUS...
Jonathan Hobin is a Canadian photographer whose series “In the Playroom” features a range of children re-enacting some of the most brutal news stories of our generation from Jonbenet Ramsey’s death and the Siegfried and Roy tiger mauling to 9/11 and the threat of nuclear war. Read More
MASSACRE IN JAMAICA
In May 2010, the Jamaican government, at the request of the United States, set out to extradite Christopher “Dudus” Coke from a Jamaican slum called Tivoli Gardens, in West Kingston. Read More
TAGGING THE REVOLUTION IN NORTHERN SYRIA
The small town of Azaz, about 10 miles northwest of Aleppo, has witnessed its fair share of the destruction from Syria’s on-going civil war. Read More
THE CANADIAN GOVERNMENT MISPLACED $3.1 BILLION
Since being elected to government nine years ago, Stephen Harper’s Conservatives haven’t exactly proven themselves to be particularly principled. Read More
APPARENTLY EUROPEANS DON’T CARE IF POP STARS DRESS...
Since its inauguration in 1956, the Eurovision song contest has been the biggest, cheesiest pop-music event in Europe, showcasing schmaltzy, sometimes bizarre entertainers and launching the careers of such culturally base phenomena as ABBA, Celine Dion, and RiverDance. Read More
THE RISE AND FALL OF THE WINNIPEG ROCK MACHINE
Rivals of the Hells Angels and infamous after a bloody 8-year biker war in Quebec that ended in 2002, the Rock Machine were by no means a new motorcycle club — and looking back, it seems it was only a matter of time before bullets and fire bombs started flying on the streets of Winnipeg. Read More
GO TO HOMESCHOOL: MY EDUCATION AMONG THE STRANGE...
My brother’s first-grade classroom was a repurposed janitor’s closet. There wasn’t enough room for aisles, so he and his 40 classmates would crawl over the tops of the desks to enter and exit the room. Read More
PAPUA NEW GUINEA ARE STILL BURNING 'SORCERERS' AT...
For most of us in the West, terms like “sorcery” and “witchcraft” tend to conjure images of delusional, damaged retirees gathering old berries for moonlit séances in Cornwall. However, some of the people who live in the more remote regions of Papua New Guinea possess a more extreme belief in the power of the occult. Read More
REMEMBERING CANADA'S TV HERITAGE MINUTES
My roommate is Japanese, which means her slippers magically clean whatever surface they touch, she draws faces on everything, and her quirky behavior—that would normally be unbearably annoying—is adorable. Read More
THE SYRIAN ELECTRONIC ARMY TALKS ABOUT HACKING THE...
As the situation in Syria escalates, new battle lines are being drawn. With confirmation of Hezbollah fighters encroaching into Syrian territory to fight rebels and reports of the Free Syrian Army (FSA) launching rockets into neighboring Lebanon, the battle seems to be spreading geographically. Read More
ADDICTION ISN'T A DISEASE, I'M JUST A DICK
When you’ve been sent back to prison multiple times for dirty pee like I have, you end up thinking a bunch about addiction—whether you’re a screwup or a bona-fide addict, and if you’re an addict what that means. Lots of people define addiction as a “disease,” but I don’t. Read More
JASON COLLINS PROVES COMING OUT IS A GREAT CAREER...
Even if no NBA team picks Jason Collins up for next season, he has a golden career as a public homosexual ahead of him if he wants it, which shows just how different being gay in 2013 is from being black in 1947—back then, no one was talking about how much money Jackie Robinson was going to make post-baseball. Read More
HOW MUCH DOES THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY SPEND ON...
The Church of Scientology has, for a long time, been putting a lot of money into advertising, most recently with that super-expensive-looking Super Bowl ad, and their disastrous attempt at running sponsored content in ‘The Atlantic.’ You might have also noticed that they sometimes pop up as the sponsored result when you google things. How much are they paying to do this? Read More
A RED LINE FOR SYRIA - OBAMA IS TRAPPED BY HIS OWN...
How perversely ironic it was, last Thursday, that Obama had to pay public homage to his predecessor—a guy whose invasion of Iraq was based on faulty intel about non-existent weapons of mass destruction—at the same time that Obama was weighing intel about possible chemical weaponry in Syria? Read More
SEVEN SONNETS READ BY WEBCAM MODELS
Author, poet, and porn enthusiast John Reed got several webcam models to read his sonnets in the outfits and settings in which they’re usually stripping and titillating their viewers. These short videos put both the poems and the webcam models in new contexts—beyond that, they’re terrific readings of some great sonnets. Read More
GOOD NEWS! YOU CAN’T BE AUTOMATICALLY DEPORTED FOR...
Well, here’s bit of good news from the Supreme Court, a group not generally considered friendly to criminal defendants or recreational drug users: you cannot, it turns out, be automatically deported for the kindhearted but nonetheless illegal act of bringing a few joints to a party. Read More
WHY IS CHRISTIE BLATCHFORD BLAMING REHTAEH...
Christie Blatchford, a columnist over at the National Post with a reputation for being a bit of a troll, wrote a horribly misdirected response to the Rehtaeh Parsons case that literally could not have been more tasteless. Read More
IN CUBA, TATTOO ARTISTS MAKE MORE THAN DOCTORS AND...
This year, a 52-year-old politician named Miguel Diaz-Canel was appointed vice president of the ruling Council of State in Cuba, making him a likely future leader of the country. Some Cubans hope he will lead their country into a new era. One reason: while he was governor of Villa Clara province, he sponsored a tattoo festival. Read More
I WAS KIDNAPPED BY A BULGARIAN HUMAN TRAFFICKING...
Of the estimated 30 million people trapped in slavery around the world, only about 140,000 of them come from Europe. While that might make some Europeans feel a little better about the continent they’re dwelling on (bankrupt and increasingly irrelevant), it shouldn’t. Read More
A FACTORY COLLAPSED ON WEDNESDAY, AND 300 PEOPLE...
This January, when I visited Bangladesh to write about the Tazreen Fashions factory fire for VICE’s “Fashion Issue,” a fire which killed more than 110 workers, I was left with the impression that life for garment workers there couldn’t get worse. [[MORE]]
THE IMAGINARY REPUBLIC OF MOLOSSIA
I am driving to a place that doesn’t exist. I am doing this because the President of Molossia emailed me. He’d seen something I’d written about his little nation, so he invited me for a visit. [[MORE]]
DAYTONA BEACH, 1999
In 1999, award-winning Magnum photographer Eli Reed set off to document spring break in Daytona Beach, Florida. [[MORE]]
LEARNING ABOUT MADCHILD'S FAN CLUB: THE BATTLE...
The first time I ever heard of Swollen Members was in a skate video called RDS/FSU/2002 which was a 46 minute long VHS tape consisting of skateboarding, bullshit, and people making a claw-like hand gesture while shouting “Red Dragons!” [[MORE]]