Once a year, thousands of rich jerks flock to South Beach to buy artistic shit at Art Basel. After they finish buying garbage, they like to party with copious amounts of cocaine. The event has become a boon for Miami’s underground drug economy, so we had a chat with a dealer about the art crowd’s nose-diving exploits.
Maintaining a high school weed habit was a hassle exemplified by run-ins with the police. For years, the cops never arrested us—they were chasing us for fun—but this merry game of cat and mouse turned dark one summer when police found a dime bag in my wallet on the Fourth of July.
As a high school student in the early 2000s, Lenny Cooke was ranked higher than LeBron James. But due to a string of poor decisions, Lenny never made it to the NBA. I talked with the playground legend about failure, redemption, the current state of the NBA, and the new documentary about his life.
Tis the season when big advertisers roll out “emotional” commercials to try and guilt you into buying your loved ones shit they don’t need. Many people call this “the most wonderful time of the year.” You and I do not.
OIL GIANT SWN IS SUSPENDING ITS WORK IN NEW BRUNSWICK AFTER NATIONWIDE PROTESTS
Harsh opposition to Texas energy firm SWN spread throughout Canada this week. Demonstrations popped up across the country in solidarity with protests in New Brunswick that resulted in a brutal RCMP response. The militarized police force has been enforcing a court ordered injunction to protect the company’s natural gas exploration on unceded native land.
PHOTOGRAPHING PEOPLE ONCE THEY'VE LEFT A WORK STATE-OF-MIND
Massimo Vitali works at documenting people who are not at work. He photographs places where people go to be as mentally removed from their jobs and daily lives as possible—people who have clearly crossed the line that separates the work side of their life from the recreation or play side.
Mayor Rob Ford, performance art genius and Canada’s greatest embarrassment since this lady knows a lot of things. He knows how to drink like a motherfucker, he knows how to eat pussy, and he knows how to please the people. But I’ll tell you one thing: Rob Ford does not know shit about football.
AN INTERVIEW WITH ONE OF GREENPEACE'S FREED ARCTIC 30
In some ways, it’s surprising that Vladimir Putin isn’t more revered by conservative Western bigots. On the September 19, while taking a break from effectively making homophobia obligatory by law, his administration launched the largest governmental attack on Greenpeace since the bombing of the Rainbow Warrior ship by the French Intelligence Service in 1985.
Hot on the heels of the consumer bukkake party known as Black Friday, fast food workers got out their markers and poster board and rustled themselves up a protest. It was reported earlier this week that around 100 separate events were to take place today in cities around the country.
CHILD-STEALING DEMONS TERRORIZED THE ALPS AGAIN THIS YEAR
The darkest, coldest, scariest day of the year in the Alps region is December 6. That’s when Saint Nikolaus (Santa, for you guys) visits us, bringing with him nuts, oranges, apples, sweets, and an army of terrifying, child-stealing demons called the Krampus. The Krampus break into people’s homes to wreak havoc or run around the streets swinging their cow tails and rods. The locals are all pretty scared of them.
A BRITISH MAN IS GOING TO PRISON FOR HAVING FISH PORN ON HIS PHONE
A man in the UK is awaiting sentencing this month for having fish porn, which is illegal in the UK. Outside of using it as a tired, slippery-slope argument against gay marriage, sex with animals doesn’t get much discussion in the US. Meanwhile in other countries, public figures do occasionally pop up and ask whether these subjects are up for debate yet.
Last fall I found myself butt-naked and spread-eagled on a tissue-lined recliner in a fertility clinic, pounding off to Asian Honeycums Vol. 2 with a lubricated test tube lodged firmly in my ass. The test tube wasn’t just a lucky rabbit’s foot; I truly believed that anally stimulating my prostate would procure the freshest and most fertile sperm I could spurt out. Pie in the ass thinking? Maybe… I just wanted to have a baby.
JIHAD SELFIES: THESE BRITISH EXTREMISTS IN SYRIA LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA
After being publicly sacked by al Qaeda leader Aymann al-Zawahiri and accidentally beheadinga fighter from one of their main allies in Syria, it’s fair to say the Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS)’s PR campaign has suffered in recent weeks. So, like any half decent group of militant extremists, they obviously want to address this slip. Unfortunately, a traditional media outreach is very difficult for them, given ISIS’s policy of kidnapping journalists. So they’ve turned, like many before them, to social media.
“Freeway” Rick Ross sits at a corner booth at Denny’s on Crenshaw Blvd. in Los Angeles and stirs his Earl Grey tea and adds a spot of honey. “Someone wants to buy ten T-shirts. He’s a new hustler,” he says ecstatically as he puts down his cell phone. He smiles and brushes off the egg scramble he accidently dropped on his T-shirt, which reads “THE REAL RICK ROSS IS NOT A RAPPER.” He now is selling shirts like these, as opposed to crack.
A GUY ACCIDENTALLY PAID $700 FOR A PHOTO OF AN XBOX ON EBAY
Peter Clatworthy, a 19 year-old in Nottingham, UK, thought he had bought an XBox One on eBay for £450 (about $700), plus £8 shipping and handling on November 28, but all that came in the mail was a shitty photo of the console. It’s a scam almost as old as eBay itself, and it looks like it’ll never go away.
A SCHOOL IN ONTARIO STAGED A FAKE MASSACRE FOR A POLICE TRAINING EXERCISE
Journalism students at Sheridan College, near Toronto, were ordered to take down video and photos (which you can see in the gallery above) of a mock school shooting that have ruffled some feathers with the school’s faculty and administration.
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE LIFE OF NELSON MANDELA
Nelson Mandela has left the planet. It is, at the time of writing, slightly more raw than the long-rehearsed curtains-down on 95 years ought to be. To South Africans like me, he has long been the man who held up the sky. Who will hold it up now?
THE CEO OF ARCHIE COMICS THINKS WHITE MEN ARE "NOT A PROTECTED CLASS"
Since 1939, when comic book character Archie hit the small pages, creator John L. Goldwater has been filling checkout stands everywhere with the exploits of a wholesome, if not mischievous, gang of teenagers in the quiet homogeneous Midwest.
EVERYONE IN THIS WHEELCHAIR SPORTS CAMP IS STONED AND MAKING BEATS
Kalyn Heffernan is 42 inches tall, has been diagnosed with a brittle bone disease, is confined to a wheelchair, smokes lots of weed, and won’t hesitate to publicly shame anyone who gets on her bad side with a brutal rap track. Kalyn is the emcee and driving force of Denver’s Wheelchair Sports Camp, a hip-hop group that mixes classic beats with jazz and avant-garde sound experiments.
A METH PIPE SHATTERED INSIDE A NORTH DAKOTA WOMAN'S VAGINA
What started as your plain old, run of the mill car accident resulted in a woman being arrested while pieces of glass from a shattered meth pipe were stuck up her vagina. Turns out hiding an object made of glass inside your body isn’t such a hot idea.
HOMELAND SECURITY IS AFRAID OF MENTALLY ILL CANADIANS
Ellen Richardson was stopped by the Department of Homeland Security from traveling to New York because she suffers from depression and tried to commit suicide in 2001. How the heck does that qualify as “border security”?
It’s 1982 and I’ve got a gig on a Navy aircraft carrier, the USS Ranger. Three or four layers below deck I set up a portable portrait studio and take pictures of approximately 3,000 sailors. Every so often I photograph the backs of their heads.
We’ve been bigging-up Cleveland-born rapper Archie Green for the past few months, impatiently waiting for the drop of his first proper release, The Greatest Pretender.Now, you can finally give the entire album a listen below and bask in all its splendor.
This is Blake’s 100th post for VICE.com, and to mark the occasion he told us he wanted to write “something more personal” than his usual fare. In that spirit, he sent us this peek inside his brain. It’s crazy in there.
UNSTOPPABLE DEATH MACHINES'S "SHAKE IT CRAZY" VIDEO
Unstoppable Death Machines are Mike and Billy Tucci, two long-haired, weed-obsessed Brooklyn brothers who play spazzed-out, kaleidoscopic noise-punk in trashy lofts and basements. Their new video is a spasmodic procession of mouth-watering weed plants, which should induce an epileptic seizure if you’re lucky enough to be prone.
PEOPLE IN COLORADO ARE NOW SHOOTING THEMSELVES FASTER THAN THEY CAN DIE IN CAR CRASHES
Guns already account for 50.6 percent of American suicides. However, Colorado just saw an abrupt 20 percent jump in gun suicides, with 532 in 2012. We tried to get to the bottom of this troubling trend.
NEW JERSEY IS TRYING TO BAN PEOPLE FROM EATING WHILE DRIVING
A proposed law in New Jersey could make tasks like eating, smoking, and applying make-up unlawful in an effort to tighten up driving laws. But what will this mean for the fate of New Jersey fast food drive-thrus if the law is passed?